Tuesday, June 26, 2012

2nd to Last Game... 2nd Rossiyanka Loss


We played last night against Rossiyanka again. We lost 2-0. Our team is down in numbers and down in spirit. It is unfortunate that this group of girls with players from the Brasilian, Cameroon and Russian National teams, have had a season like this. Even though we have some very talented players, our team has not once played like a team. We are segregated, divided, turned against each other and turned against ourselves. Every game we are made to not only fight the other team, but to fight the refs, our coaches, our team mates and in the end ourselves. It is clear that before any game, a practice or at half time… the largest emotion is not passion or excitement to play, instead it is fear. Fear to make a mistake, fear to get yelled at, fear of being pointed out and embarrassed. Fear is driving this team, and it is steering us in the only direction it knows… backwards.

If you remember in one of my first blog posts I wrote that I had felt stagnant at home, I felt like I needed a change and challenge because I was beginning to doubt my love for this game, and if this was what I really wanted to do. And, even though as a team, we have been steered backwards, I can say that being here has taken me forward as a person. I have a new love and respect for the power of simply playing, and enjoying that. The only thing I know I want to do with the next year of my life is to play. I don’t think I have felt like this throughout this experience but now with one game left, I realize that I love this game. Everything that I have gone through here has been because I wanted the opportunity to play, to run around and kick a ball, to score. I think that’s I why I felt so stagnant even at home, I was only working out, trying to prepare myself… but the reason I do all of that is to play. And that’s all I want.

It is funny how much you miss the weirdest things from home after you have been away and exposed to new things. I was sitting in my little corner of the locker room, after I had gotten myself prepared, yesterday before the game looking around our at everyone. I found myself thinking about being back in the Portland locker room and what that was like and how excited I was about all of the games when I walked into that locker room on game day. I thought about sitting on the side lines with the girls I had known since I was 11 at the Rush, mentally preparing to beat any team that came across us. And I realized, as I was watching everyone’s different game preparations that I was in Russia. I know that sounds funny because, obviously, I am in Russia… but every once in a while it really hits me… I am in Russia, on the other side of the world, living in Europe, playing professional soccer.

The Rush (the club I grew up playing for) is the last place on earth you should go play if you need routine or have superstition. Tim Schultz used to let us do what ever we personally wanted/needed for warm up. Some of us would literally sit on our bags on the side of the field until about 5 minutes before the game, do one or two jogs across the field and maybe some stretches and be ready to play. He used to tell us that the only thing that mattered was that we were mentally ready to play. Then at Portland I went the opposite direction. Every week was pretty much EXACTLY the same. Monday off, Tuesday running, Wednesday 3 goal game, Thursday crossing and finishing, Friday game, Saturday recovery, Sunday game… and before a game we sat in the same place (DON’T YOU DARE SIT OUT OF PLACE!!!!!!!), listen to the same songs and sing at the exact same time.... etc. 

Personally, I have always been more inclined to follow the attitude of Tim Schultz, although I do think my body needs more than a 5 minute warm up, I definitely don’t need an exact routine to play… but don’t get me wrong, I loved the routine at Portland… but not because I felt like it made me play better, I just loved being such a part of that experience.

Anyways, it takes me about 2.5 minutes to get ready for a game. I listen to what ever kind of music I am in the mood to listen to, I don’t usually like to get “AMPED” for a game, so my playlist is generally something a bit more mellow, but that is open to change if I feel like it. Unless it is unusually cold I don’t wear extra underclothes, like spandex or under armor because I feel constricted… so I only have to put on my shorts and jersey, which takes all of 24 seconds. I put my hair in the usual low-to- mid-head messy bun with some hairpieces that fall out because of the awkward length of my hair. I wear some pre-wrap to pull those pieces out of my face… again that takes all of 30 seconds. My cleats and shinguards take about 1 minute each (if I stop to have a drink of water and a small conversation with the player sitting next to me).  So overall, it takes me about 5 minutes to get ready for a game, which allows me a lot of time to watch how others prepare for the game…

Yesterday, when I realized that I was in Russia, I actually was laughing to myself about how different people approach games, myself included. As you can see above, I don’t really do anything… but one girl here has to have the bow on her shorts tied exactly right and tucked in just the right place, her shirt laying perfectly across her shoulders, the tongue of her shoe exactly in the right place on her foot, her shoes tied at just the right tightness and with just the right amount of lace hanging out…

Another girl wears about 10 different layers because all of her joints ache so bad that she needs extra padding and protection, so it takes her at least 20 minutes just to put on all of the different layers…

Some girls stand in front of the mirror adjusting their hair, doing their make up, turning around to see how their shorts look from the back, then re-adjusting their hair. They leave the mirror sit down, get some water and then get back up to go back to the mirror…

So, as I was laughing to myself about this, I thought that I wanted to share the humor with someone next to me… but I didn’t have the Russian words to tell it to anyone around me… and suddenly found myself missing things from home, which is what made me realize that I was in Russia…

My thought process went like this… Look at all these people doing so many ridiculous things…How different people are. I miss the silly things we did before our games on the teams I have played for before... Emma’s salt shaker dance on the other side of the training room, and singing Michael Jackson… that was funny. Man, I miss being able to laugh before games. Laughing is nice…. You know what? I miss being funny. It’s hard to communicate humor if you don’t speak the language. My blog was funny at the beginning, it hasn’t been funny recently… I should make it funnier. But I don’t have anything funny to write about anymore. This is funny though… the way people are getting ready for a game. It’s pretty ridiculous, actually. People are stupid. Haha. I am stupid, look at me, sitting here all ready, an hour and a half before the game just watching how the Russian’s get ready…. You’re in Russia right now. WOW, that’s crazy… I am getting ready to play a professional game, in RUSSIA. That’s wild… O shit! Here comes our coaches… focus…. Hold your tongue, hold your tears… its game time!

Then I threw all my thoughts to the side and enjoyed playing! Even though we lost, I enjoyed myself and I worked hard. And that was a really long explanation of yesterday’s game.

We have one more game left, on the 28th. We play Klubanochka. We can still take 2nd place if we win and Zurkey loses. It will be interesting to see how it all plays out. Regardless, I am enjoying the last few days here with these girls, being in Russia and most importantly my time with Ximel.

But I do have some exciting travel plans coming up with my buddy!! Don’t you all worry though,.. I will still be blogging, although probably not as much. We will be heading to the Olympics to watch and support some friends. On the way we will be making some stops to see some cool new places. So, expect some pictures!! 

Hope all is well back at home. I miss you all!!

Buddy, I cant wait to see you!

Cheers,

Dani


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Beginning of the End

It is official... the final count down has begun. Tomorrow marks only 10 days left. 130 days and only 10 of them left. As I said before, I cant say it went by quickly, but it is hard to believe it is already June 20. After our last game we have had a long break of 2 weeks so that players could go compete with their national teams. So we were left here with 7 people to have in practices, which doesn't allow for much. But it hasnt been much of a problem because Russia has been having big thunder storms everyday. The rain comes in the afternoon and within a few minutes of the downpour the roads are flooded and muddy again.

I have been trying to soak up all the remaining time with experiencing as much of Voronezh as I can. I was able to go to an art museum that had an exhibit dedicated to a Russian artist. It consisted of contemporary soviet paintings as well as french photography. It was an awesome experience and really cool to see the art of this culture. The museum that the exhibit was held in, however, was not ventilated at all, so it was hard to take our time walking around in because it was so hot.

Also, for those of you who are not aware, one of the biggest soccer tournaments in the world, The Euro, is going on right now.  It is similar to the world cup, except it only includes the national teams of European countries. Anyways, we have obviously been following and cheering for Russia but they unfortunately didnt make it past the group stages. Every night they played Voronezh shut down and every restaurant, bar, cafe, or living room had the game on. Ximel and I watched in our apartment with the windows open and when Russia scored we could hear the cheers and "OOOORRAAAA's" from all of Russia. It was really fun to be a part of, but also a big bummer that they were put out so early on in the tournament.

Also we have made a couple trips to various beaches around the Voronezh sea to read and spend time in the sun and with Russian people. When we dont have training Ximel and I have been sure to make a trip out to find new places in Voronezh to explore. We have found new restaurants, cafes, beaches, forests and more of the same broken dirt roads.

Our next game is again against the power house, Rossiyanka, and it is a must win or tie game for us. We cant lose anymore games if we hope to keep our second place ranking. So we will spend the next 5 days preparing for that game and getting our players back from their excursions with their national teams. I will keep you posted over the next few days about our preparation for the game, but just know that it is not exciting and there is not much to say about it.

Hope all is well back at home! I miss you all!!

Cheers!!

Dani

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Last Away Game = Win... FINALLY!


It is 9 AM which is usually the time we head downstairs for breakfast… but considering we got off of the bus only 4 hours ago, I am guessing I am the only person up right now. We pulled into the base this morning at 5 AM after one of our shortest bus rides. It was only a 7-hour drive to the city we played in, Ryazan. Usually we depart Voronezh the night before the game and either train or bus through the night and then check into a hotel the morning of our game to get a bit of sleep before the game and some food. We literally just rent a room for a couple hours and then after the game jump back on the bus to head back to Voronezh. But because the pressure to win is on, we got some special treatment… low and behold, a full night sleep before the game proved to be a successful tactic!

Taking a bathroom break on the drive to Ryazan. 

The Cameroon girls and I found out the hard way that there are poisonous bushes in those weeds... luckily we didnt squat too deep... but my legs broke out in a lovely itchy/burning rash after this bathroom break. None of the Russians bothered to tell us that though... they just laughed at us while we complained and scratched. 


Eating our lunch on the bus... hard boiled eggs, cucumbers, and tomatoes and an orange. YUM

Ximel's silly walk... for those of you who know what I am talking about!

We arrived in Ryazan after the 7-hour bus ride on the evening of the 10th just as a trickle of rain started coming down. We were told to be ready for training in half an hour and so we went up to our rooms to get ready. But within the half an hour the rain went from a trickle to a flash flood. Literally the streets were flooded. On our way to the field there must have been 2 feet of deep rushing water that used the road as its riverbed. Luckily the Energy Bus was a beast and plowed right through… but it was almost for no good reason because the field was partially submerged and in no good condition for training. The drainage system around the field was so clogged that we were forced to hang up the boots and take up water polo for the day. Seriously though, it was so bad that when you passed the ball it would either stop in the huge puddles across the field or skip away so fast you couldn’t control it. It was a very frustrating practice and probably not the best for confidence building when the pressure of a must-win game is on.

We slept well though, that night, put up in the nicest hotel we have stayed in so far. The bed was comfy, the room was carpeted, the shower was warm… it was like heaven! We woke up the next morning, ate some breakfast and then had the majority of the day to kill before our game at 630. So, naturally Ximel and I walked around Ryazan exploring and taking pictures. If there is one thing I have noticed about Russia it is that all of the cities are pretty much built with the same house or apartment design, same road quality and same store model system. Even in Saransk, where it was much quieter than Voronezh and Moscow, the living situation of the people was the same as in the big cities. Ryazan was no different. The houses were exactly like those surrounding the base. They were located off what was once a paved road that has since been worn back to pot-marked dirt roads because of the lack of care and harsh weather conditions they have been exposed to.

 One of the Ryazan Cathedrals

 The typical apartment/house entrance


 Nature will prevail!



Then, we had the usual lunch of cucumber-tomato salad that is dressed with olive oil and dill… It is going to take me many dill-less months to cure me of my developed dislike but dependence on dill. It is literally the only herb they use in cooking here. I will say I am so tired of the food here. There is no flavor and every meal I sit down to I think about some spicy Mexican, Italian, Indian or Thai food.  Sometimes thinking like this makes it harder for me to eat, but sometimes I can make myself believe I taste a bit of curry spice in a mushy cabbage bite. Anyways… we had the usual cucumber-tomato salad, plain chicken breast and spaghetti plate for lunch, of which I ate the cucumbers and tomato and some chicken. Then we had a meeting and headed off for the game.

The weather was a bit humid and warm, but it was good playing weather. The field had drained since the night before and so it seemed like a perfect evening for a game. This game, as our next two are, was a must-win if we want to keep our 2nd place ranking.

We were by far the better side and had plenty of chances, but once again went into the locker room at half time tied 0-0. Once again, not a good thing… because our half times are spent with little focus on how to improve the match and more on personal attacks of why we didn’t score one particular shot, or why we decided to play football when we would be better fit for a sport like ping-pong or karate. So, needless to say after half time we were once again a bit deflated. Lucky for us though, the referee made a crucial error and awoke the sleeping giant within our team.

I will say, with no apology in my voice, the referees here are the worst. They are not afraid of showing favoritism or of making outrageous game changing calls. Anyways, about 20 minutes into the 2nd half they played a long ball over the top and our goalie came out to get it. Our goalie and their girl got to the ball at about the same time just outside of the box. The ref called a handball on our goalie and gave her a straight red card. So there we were tied 0-0 in a must win game now having to play a man down and without our starting goalie. Then, to make matters worse, our coach decided to take out our outside mid, Tia, who is undoubtedly one of our best three players. None of understood that move, but it was enough to make us all angry and thus, awake the sleeping giant.

From that point on we were relentless, constantly pushing forward to score and purposely going into tackles a bit harder and maybe even a bit dirtier for the unfairness we had been dealt, once again. Then, I got a ball on the top of the 18 at the left corner… I cut the ball to the inside and played a diagonal ball across the 18 to Njoya who laid it off to Simone at the top of the box… she sent a powerful shot into the upper corner of the near post putting us up 1-0! It was a brilliant goal. Then, shortly after Simone scored another goal off of a cross to put us up 2-0. We fought hard, and I am very proud of this win. It was a very tough match but I am proud of the way we responded and it was enough to give us hope that we can still keep the 2nd place! And, to give us even more hope that was our last travel game and we have a full 2 weeks before our last two games. Girls will be gone with their national teams during this time, which will give us time to recover an practice before we play Rossiyanka again on the 25th.

After the game we went into the locker room, showered up and jumped back on the bust to ride through the night to get home. The summer sun is not very nice to sleepy bodies and eyes here. The sun didnt go down until after midnight and came back up a little after 3 AM. I know this because I have a pretty tough time sleeping on that bus and I watched the sun set and sun rise over the beautiful Russian landscape to pass the time. Although, it has gotten easier because (if you remember that picture of my first bus ride with the feet occupying my seat...) Nana's feet and I have made peace and come to an agreement that she can put her feet anywhere on my seat so long as she they dont touch me.


 We stopped on the side of the high way for a bite of dinner. 
 Stretching and waiting for the roadside picnic set up
 Post game dinner...
 We were joined by our head coach, his son who is the president of the club and their personal driver. 

Glad to say that that was our last travel game and now we only have 2 more games.  We have 2 weeks until the next game during which many girls will be gone, so I am sure Ximel and I will have more pictures to show you in a few days!


I hope everyone is doing well back at home!

All my love

Cheers!

Dani

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Lessons I have learned


A tie is better than a loss, and I will gladly take a single point any day over a big egg from a loss... but I cant say we were happy with a tie yesterday. We ended up tying a team from Moscow yesterday 2-2.  We played the team from my very first game with this team. That day we had won 2-0 and I had scored both goals, this game was a bit different....

It was really great to have a home game for once and not have to jack our bodies up with travel again. We were finally able to get a full night sleep and good pre game meals because we were at home. It was hot but everyone was looking ready to play. It is hard to describe our style of play because I would say that it seemed like we had most of the possession because we were the team kicking it most of the time...but I realized actually that the air had most of the possession and when it was on the ground we were usually the first team around it, so call it what you will. Regardless, we had more chances than they did and were finally able to open up the scoring in about the 40th minute, about 5 minutes after I was subbed into the game. Then in the second half, our team came out of the locker room a bit deflated after half time and tried to hold on to the lead. Unfortunately the other team was able to score 2 back to back goals on free kicks to go into the lead. Then in about the 80th minute Simone hammered home a great header off of a perfect corner from Lena Terekova to tie it up again. And that is how the game ended, 2-2. It was a difficult game, just as all of them have been... and so I go back to what I said at the beginning, I will gladly take the single point from a tie over zero points from a loss, but I cant say we were happy about the tie. 

After the game I called my parents to let them know how it went and in talking with them we were discussing what a crazy ride this has been. As many of you know, this experience for me has been a true roller coaster. It has gone day to day and sometimes even hour to hour. I think that I have experienced a little bit of every emotion. True happiness, pride, joy, and love, but also true anger, frustration, sadness, fear and exhaustion. I was talking with my parents about my plans when I come home and it came up about how long it seems like I have been gone. It is hard to believe I left Colorado in February and now it is June. Where has the time gone? On one hand it seems like those 4 months flew by and I cant believe it is ALREADY June. But when I think about each day and how long some days seemed to last I cant say it has gone by fast. There were some days and some nights that the minutes could have lasted an eternity. 

Then a week ago I had a friend ask me what is the biggest thing I have taken away from here so far... and so, after last nights conversation with my parents, and this big question from my friend, I got to thinking about my time here and my overall thoughts about it. And there are a few big things I have learned about myself in being here....

I have learned how much I need the people I love around me. Although it is preferable to be physically in the presence of those I love, even just being surrounded by them over skype has proved sufficient. In the hardest moments here there has always been an absolutely amazing support group back at home that has never failed to answer the phone, listen to me and offer advice and comforting words. In taking this challenge I thought I was going to learn about how to cope with things on my own, and instead I found that there is absolutely no way and no need to do anything solo. The most important things in my life has always been the relationships I have with people. My relationships with my family and my friends have always taken precedent over anything else in my life although I never fully understood or appreciated that... Being here I have actually realized how important relationships are to me because I can not live without people who love me around me. 

To piggy-back off of that and to fully appreciate the above statement... what I have found is that yes, I admit I do need those people around me because they shower me with love, acceptance, kindness and everything else that has given me strength, but I have also realized that I need them around me just as much to take care of me as I want and need to take care of them. I have realized how much I want to give my love back to the people who have given it to me. They have listened to me every day, through the ups and downs and it has always been so helpful, but I have found that I need just as much to give that support back to them. All relationships are a two way road and I have realized how much I need and want to give back to my relationships as they have given to me. 

Which brings me to the a third thing I have taken away from here... a person whom has given me an incredible amount of support... the Swedish girl, Ximel Bladh. I know that I have mentioned her name and shown pictures of us but she has truly become an amazing friend of mine. Because our team is small and we are restricted by language barriers and a fence around us we were all forced to find someone with whom we could communicate with. Ximel and I, being the only two fluent English speakers, obviously had to become friends... but somewhere through this crazy journey we have crossed the line of just being friends because we both speak english and are in close vicinity every day to being really great friends (buddies, as I call my closest friends). We have spent hours walking around Voronezh, exploring and talking about everything and somewhere in those walks she became a friend that I will always have from here on. I am grateful for this experience because it has brought me a new friend that I have truly connected with. And in return we have helped each other to get through this.

Which brings me to the last and probably biggest thing I have found here... a new strength in myself. Up to this point in my life I feel like I am a positive person and that it takes a lot of particularly well placed pressure to break that... the coaches here have found my Achilles tendon... But, I will say that my string of patience has grown ten times the size it was. Every day I have learned to prepare myself not only physically but also mentally... and still, some days it gets to me, but on the whole I have learned a new level of self control and patience. I have learned to appreciate the slow processes of minor things, like drying my laundry, or the process of traveling (whether its walking from my apartment to downtown or training from Voronezh to Moscow)... all of which take time and no matter how bored or frustrated I might be, will not go any faster. But... this new patience has given me strength not just for making time pass but it has given me strength to keep my chin up even when I thought I could not. To know that no matter how much I am yelled at and no matter what is said making mistakes is ok. It happens to everyone all the time and I should not be afraid of that. Patience has let me put aside the frustration and anger I feel and helps me to keep a level head to learn from the mistake rather than fear it.

And that is why I treasure this experience and it has been worth more than money and maybe even more than football. It has become a very important story in my life that I will have forever.

I love you all back at home!

Cheers!

Dani

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Harsh Travels!!!

After our peaceful yet disappointing trip to Saransk we made the hardest and longest travel that we have had to a city as far east in European Russia as you could go, Perm.  Perm is a city almost on the European-Asian border of Russia and in order to get there we had to utilize almost every type of transportation there is. We left our hotel in Saransk at 7PM on the 31 to board another night train from Saransk to Moscow.  I will say this one was the best night train we have rode on.  It was peaceful, quiet and didnt smell like body odor, whiskey or a toilet. We arrived in Moscow at 6 AM on the 1st... and this is where our journey got interesting...

We went from the Moscow train station to the metro on the public transportation busses where we then took the subway from the train station to the airport... yes, we literally took everything except maybe a boat. I have heard the public transportation in Moscow is ridiculous because of the amount of people who use it... we were lucky that our train arrived at 6AM because it would have been 10x worse than this....

 At the train station, even at 6AM people were moving so fast and pushing so hard to get through the picture is blurry, but you get the idea.  

After the train ride and waking up so early most of our team was not quite awake waiting for the subway... I caught Ximel sleeping standing up... she tried to hide it by wearing the glasses but I was not fooled... in fact, her swaying gave it away haha.
I enjoyed the subway... but I am much more of a morning person than most... 

We got to the Moscow airport at about 9 AM and boarded a flight at about 11 to fly 2 hours to Perm. To board a flight in Russia you check in at your gate, and give them your ticket, but then in stead of walking down the hall to board your flight you get on a bus that drives you out into the fairway where you board your plane. If my team wasnt on the bus I wouldnt have known where to go... so I tell you so that if you are ever flying in Russia, you will know what to do. There was a 2 hour time difference between Moscow and Perm.  We landed at the Perm airport which is the pictures below. The Perm airport was not quite as big as the Moscow airport... and when I say not quite as big I mean that there was 4 gates at the Perm airport, and I could literally stand at one end of the airport and read the small print on the posters on the other side of the airport... and I didnt have my contacts in.   



 Standing at one end of the Perm airport...

These are the 4 gates...

Well we landed in Perm and got to our hotel which was much nicer than our hotel in Saransk. And we went to the stadium to move our legs and prepare for our game the next day. And, unfortunately our game again didnt go so well... we lost our 4th game in a row. We lost to Perm 2-1.  They were a very good team.  I assisted our only goal and I thought I played really well.  I played center mid again and felt like I ran a lot.  The losses have taken a toll on our team and have hurt our team spirit and it will be difficult for us to pull out of it.  The 3rd and 4th place teams are approaching us quickly and that is stressing our coaches and our players.  So we will see our true character in the upcoming games as we get more pressure to win put on us.  Our game was at 7PM and didnt finish until about 9.  When it was over, we were all exhausted our spirits were hanging low.  But we didnt have time to think about it because we had to pack everything up and make the journey home.

The travel back to Voronezh was just as hard as the travel to Perm.  Our flight was at 7 AM so we left for the airport at 5 AM.  We took the bus back to the tiny airport where we boarded our flight only to find out it was delayed 2 hours.  So we sat on the tiny plane for 2 hours before we even took off.  Then once in the air we were stuck in an air traffic jam to land in Moscow for another hour... so 3 hours later we landed again in Moscow.  Then we boarded our FC Energy bus and drove from Moscow to Voronezh on that dreaded 10 hour bus ride. And to top it off, we got stuck again in traffic which made it a little over an 11 hour bus ride. So, needless to say my body felt swollen and sore everywhere. 

Traveling like that is so difficult on our bodies because they havent recovered from the game and we have to cram into tiny spaces for way too long.  When we finally get back to Voronezh I can never tell if my body needs to move and stretch and sweat all of the travel out or just stretch out and lay down in bed and go to sleep.  Not to mention your mind starts going crazy with a lack of things to do while you are on those busses.  There are only so many movies to watch, so many pages to read and so many songs to listen to before you just want to jump out of the plane or bus or what ever... 

Anyways, we got today off which was badly needed and so I took the day to jog until I felt satisfied with the amount of crap I had purged from my body.  We had the sauna and then spent the rest of the day by the water with some friends on the team.  It was an enjoyable free day! 

Tomorrow we will refocus for the remainder of the season and figure out how we are going to keep our 2nd place ranking, but for today, we need some distance from the game.  

I hope all is well back at home!! I miss everyone more and more as the days go by!!!

Cheers!

Dani